seeing fear in a reflection calculates the right or wrong thing to say
Picture, the scene. A younger than normal woman suddenly decides to stop dyeing her greying hair before unsolicited projections are winging in, from various corners of the world. ‘Really? You’re just leaving it?’ ‘Oh, you’re brave, I wouldn’t do that yet!’ ‘Do you know; a friend of mine started and then she gave up.’ Well, living vicariously is rarely framed positively and the act of accepting an existential truth only seems to ignite the terror within. In addition, of course, the sentences passed in more ways than one seem to travel in one direction, as one half of the species rolls in glory and the other roils in some ancient contempt.
Why, is this?
Or more specifically, why both this and that? What draws the power of a label, where one is crowned King and the other an ‘old hag’ and what of our relationship to arcs of entropy, as our existence gradually breaks down? At the University of Southern California in America, ‘Gerontology’ is defined as:
‘The study of the biological, psychological and sociological aspects of human development and the intricacies of ageing across the lifespan. The process of ageing are [sic] both unique and universal, relevant to every person, company, industry and community.’
Sometimes, a day in itself can feel like a lifetime but from an angle of reflection where in a curious moment and just for a few seconds: the crystalline light or the chill or the warmth against your face pauses your mind to feel a thing as if way back in time, when you were younger and fresher. Coupled with the specialness of feeling alive which may be quite different to being so; it’s the reference point to losing in the future, in our zero-sum game of life.
Perhaps, it’s the impetus behind an angst chasing away the greys and as Jessica Rach recalled in a Vogue article, last year: her disapproval of her mother’s age-related, natural colouring was fuelled by a fear of death edging closer, towards a parent. It seems those tortured strains of: ‘Really? You’re just leaving it?’ are the echoes of footsteps running away or maybe for some, sprinting instead. Well, a subtext of wording spat out in vain fits more in line with: ‘I’m not ready, to face this.’ It’s denial, again, always landing us in trouble as the boom and bust of earthly traits confuse us without warning, while preparing ahead.
Well, as we know, economics in simple terms is about resources, scarcity and distribution. So, when it comes to fading looks and a declining prowess, our remaining assets are all we’ll muster as a place in the pool shifts elsewhere. Yet, in existential terms, old age is the time of life in which many things should be coming together. The accrued successes and processed regrets, the experiences born through good times and bad giving flesh to the bones of theory and thought. Meanwhile, Xavier Bonilla, whose podcast ‘Converging Dialogues’ looked at the underlying issues of existence and ageing, spoke to Kevin Aho: a chair and professor in philosophy and author of ‘One Beat More: Existentialism and the gift of mortality’. As Professor Aho recalled a defining moment in his life, he said:
‘that event [a heart attack] in my life, although traumatising and world-shattering forced me to confront a lot of the core ideas in existentialism that I understood and lectured theoretically, but never had to live through.’
So, this is the point when all is said and done because in gathering hairs that are greying one day, to then turn white throughout the next: the related encounters are intimately tied. In effect, each hair is a strand of your life lived in homage to the adage of more strings to a bow: like Bach’s ‘Double-violin concerto,’ with its infinite grace and agreeable wisdom. They’re proof of that dance with money and strife which may have gone well or then again not. Yet, for reasons that might be evolutionary in tone, the silver vixen isn’t extinct where she’s never really existed. So, it’s a long-running narrative in its own sense, while a study of medical students in Islamabad, Pakistan, reinforced what we know in showing the sociological impact of premature greying, in men and women:
‘Those with premature greying often get noticed for it, causing a hinderance in their social activities.’
Well, women of all ages are striking back in fearlessly growing the grey and good for them where it can only be good for the rest of society, too.
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Images:
Her Beautiful Greys, by Olga Volkovitkaia, Pixabay – Main Image
Serene Maturity, by ThuyHaBich, Pixabay
References:
Jeremy Langmead, ‘Men, there’s a silver lining to adeing’, The Times newspaper, 4th March 2023, accessed 24th February 2024, https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/men-grey-hair-times-luxury-5zhbt2xkc
Camilla Palmer, ‘Fade to Grey: Why Women Should Stop Dyeing Their Hair’, The Guardian newspaper, 25th April 2016, accessed 24th February 2024, https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/apr/25/fade-to-grey-why-women-should-stop-dyeing-their-hair
‘What Is Gerontology?’, University of Southern California, Leonard Davis School of Gerontology, 2024, accessed 24th February 2024, https://gero.usc.edu/what-is-gerontology/
Jessica Rach, ‘Am I Wrong To Be Appaled By My Mother Embracing Her Natural Greys?’ Vogue magazine, 1st October 2023, accessed 24th February 2024, https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/grey-hair-judgement
Xavier Bonilla, ‘Converging Dialogues’, Apple Podcasts, 4th November 2022, 8 mins; 50 secs, accessed 24th February 2024, https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/converging-dialogues/id1538513554
Kevin Aho, ‘One Beat More: Existentialism and the gift of mortality’ (Cambridge, Polity Publishing, 2022)
Johann Sebastian Bach, ‘Double-violin Concerto in D Minor’, Youtube, Vicemu, 4th June 2024, accessed 24th February 20024, https://youtu.be/Qcp8pvRkooY?feature=shared&t=250
Verlin, B. Hinsz, et al, ‘The Intermingling of Social and Evolutionary Psychology Influences on Hair Colour Preferences’, Current Psychology, Vol.32, Issue 2, Springer Publications, June 2013, https://go.gale.com/ps/i.do?id=GALE%7CA338416858&sid=googleScholar&v=2.1&it=r&linkaccess=abs&issn=10461310&p=AONE&sw=w&userGroupName=anon%7E4dbaf5c4&aty=open-web-entry
Saad, M, et al, ‘Impact of Premature Greying of Hair on Socio-cultural Adjustment and Self-esteem among Medical Undergraduates in Foundation University, Islamabad. Cureus. 2019, Jul 4;11(7):e5083, doi: 10.7759/cureus, 5083, PMID: 31516792; PMCID: PMC6721903, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6721903/
University of Exeter, ‘Women ‘Risk’ Grey Hair To Feel Authentic’, 12th April 2021, https://news-archive.exeter.ac.uk/disciplines/psychology/2021/articles/womenriskgreyhairtofeelau.html
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